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Home » Love, Friendship & Relationships chat » Traditional Dating » Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships)
Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #25] Thu, 15 March 2007 12:22 Go to next message
The Dating Expert is currently offline  The Dating Expert
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There are many different reasons why men leave relationships or refuse to settle down with the woman they are with. Its important for women to take a good look at these reasons. To their surprise and delight, they will discover that most of the reasons why men leave have nothing to do with them. Some men cling to the ghost of past relationships, idealizing an old love and deciding they'll never find a person like that again. It feels safer to hold onto the past than risk failure with someone who is available today.

These men prefer to dwell in a memory than to face the reality of present day life. For some, this memory goes back to their mothers. No woman can live up to mom, or to any other woman they idealize. They begin to imagine that these other women were perfect and gave them unconditional love. Whatever their present girlfriend does is compared with that. No woman can win over an idealized memory. These men are living in dreams.

Other men leave seeking excitement and challenge. Being with someone who loves them becomes boring and flat. After years of dating beautiful women who adored him but for whom he felt little, Frederick, a handsome, articulate architect, in his late thirties, finally fell in love. It was a tumultuous situation, however.

"I was in love with Fern for three years, he said. "But I left her three times and each time she came back, wanting me again. No other woman had done that before. Fern was very neurotic. I guess thats what attracted me.

Some men find the lack of stability in a woman to be challenging, exciting and erotic. The unpredictability creates a situation where there is a constant sense of danger and threat of loss. This keeps these men constantly on the alert, so things never become routine. Excitement is confused with passion. There is a sense that, because of the turmoil, they are finally alive. After awhile it usually becomes too much. "I finally left Fern and never went back, Frederick said. It became too exhausting in the long run.

When men are attracted to neurotic women, it is interesting to note that these men are often attracting a partner who is expressing what he is also going through inside. She may be acting out what he is feeling and not able to express. When he finally becomes angry with the woman, he is really angry with himself. What we cannot accept in another is always something we haven't been able to accept in ourselves.

Other stresses also cause men to leave relationships. When a man is unhappy at his job, or when he feels pressured to commit, before he is ready, old dreams that havent been fulfilled will come up to haunt him. He then will begin to feel that this is the time to live out these dreams. These men often feel justified in abruptly leave unsatisfying relationships in search of their fantasies and dreams.

When Renee, handsome, strong, the successful owner of a well know beauty salon left for a new woman he said, No one leaves if they're happy. After awhile you just begin to feel time is running out and you get tired of the bad stuff. You feel you don't need it anymore. You paid your dues. You're tired."

When asked why he felt the attraction to a different woman, he said, Part of it is just plain beauty. But also she was much younger. I like that. A young woman looks up to a guy because he's older and can do all these things for her, and he adores her because she's young, pretty and makes him look good and feel good and proud."

Implicit in this is a deep need men have to be looked up to, valued, respected and recognized, not only by his peers, but by the woman he's with. Especially at a time in life when a man's sense of himself is wavering, it is extremely uplifting to have a woman who looks up to him and what he has achieved. Unfortunately,at this point, some wives of long standing can only see their mans deficits. If they then remind him of his failings constantly, it's often more than his ego can bear.

Though there are many more factors contributing to men leaving relationships, a common theme appears through all of them. The men are not necessarily responding to the woman they are leaving, but to their own inner needs, conflicts and dreams. Often they experience the woman in their lives simply as a part of their own sense of self. It is not the woman herself who necessarily causes the man to leave, but the man's feelings about himself, his own inner fantasy and quest.

Admin.


Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #5342 is a reply to message #25] Sat, 20 August 2011 16:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Anonymous
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I'm a man, and if I leave a relationship it has a good reason. Like I don't love my parter anyomore. Or I fall in love to someone else. Hate to end up a relationship, but I must do it if it's neccesary.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #5365 is a reply to message #25] Fri, 09 September 2011 23:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Anonymous
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Good information and its rational to some extent. Thanks for sharing.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #5594 is a reply to message #25] Mon, 07 November 2011 23:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SteveMarker is currently offline  SteveMarker
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Same problem here but women can't understand us... Sad

Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #5797 is a reply to message #25] Mon, 26 December 2011 11:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
romymarion is currently offline  romymarion
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Always a man needs a caring girl to make his life partner. If someone will not get such in love definitely he will leave the relationship.

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Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #5820 is a reply to message #5797] Mon, 09 January 2012 22:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Anonymous
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romymarion wrote on Mon, 26 December 2011 11:57
Always a man needs a caring girl to make his life partner. If someone will not get such in love definitely he will leave the relationship.

i agree with you dude. but girls like that are extinct.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #6146 is a reply to message #25] Tue, 13 March 2012 22:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
mike is currently offline  mike
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The thing about online dating is, most of the new dating sites on the Internet now free or paid. Think that just because you have to compete with all of the other well known name dating sites. You have to buy or purchase fake profiles, that is 100% unfair to the members who sign up for their service especially for a paid service. For example I do reviews on dating sites to see which one's are fake. If you have never heard of a dating site especially if it isn't free then if they have millions of members, they don't offer trial service or they need your credit card then it's more than likely fake profiles. On the other hand if they offer a trial service, it's 100% free or they don't have millions of users then you can believe that site is 100% authentic with its members. Remember dating sites that say they have millions chances are you have heard of it before, but if you have not but like the name and what you see but they do not have a lot of members then those are the sites that will have real profiles and the best chances for you to meet someone. The two newest online dating sites I have researched are Faithfulmeeting
Dating Cafe Lounge
Both are 100% Free they are very new so they have real profiles, but the best thing about these two new sites you keep your page position no matter how many people sign up after you. If its a million people who sign up after you and when you signed up you where 2nd, then that's where you will remain until you unregister.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #6926 is a reply to message #25] Fri, 01 February 2013 08:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jessa2013 is currently offline  jessa2013
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For me, most of men leave a relationship because of emotions. Maybe they don't see any reason to stay on that relationship or they don't have feelings anymore to their partner.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #6935 is a reply to message #25] Mon, 04 February 2013 18:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Trish0102 is currently offline  Trish0102
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Thanks for sharing these reasons. Based on what I learned from some guy friends, they leave relationships because they are afraid of commitment and are scared that they cannot do the things they used to do freely.
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #8516 is a reply to message #6935] Fri, 21 March 2014 03:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
McDuffyLady
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Men leaves the relationship because there are no more love or attraction between him and her partner. But there are still foolish guys who left the better woman for a just a flare of the moment. Good women are for keeps so if you find one why would they still leave?
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #8698 is a reply to message #25] Fri, 26 September 2014 10:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
sydney is currently offline  sydney
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There are many different reasons why men leave relationships or refuse to settle down with the woman they are with. It's important for women to take a good look at these reasons.This means that after a while he has realized that you are not compatible and have nothing in common. It is extremely important for a man to be sexually satisfied in his home. Have you been too tired or have too many headaches lately? Sometimes the man is roped into a relationship without being actually ready for it. This immaturity and unwillingness to commit that is underlying makes him want to pull out of the

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Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #9306 is a reply to message #25] Thu, 26 November 2015 17:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NickLox1 is currently offline  NickLox1
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It really depends on who the man is sometimes he will leave even if he has kids. It matters if he will stay in their lives or leave completely so it can be hard. My father left when I was 13 but he is still comes sees me. It really depends on the man
You'd better discuss how to go through it. give advice on how to get rid of the feelings of betrayal!?
icon7.gif  Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #9404 is a reply to message #25] Wed, 16 December 2015 11:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Zorro is currently offline  Zorro
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Same problem, but women didn't understand us... Rolling Eyes
Some men find the lack of stability in a woman to be challenging
Re: Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships) [message #10011 is a reply to message #25] Tue, 13 March 2018 06:34 Go to previous message
kaitlynlily6 is currently offline  kaitlynlily6
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Good reasons mentioned but most of the men I know leave because they are attracted to other women. Some have the motto: "Boys will be boys"
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