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Home » Love Forum » Ask a Female » Cold sholder after the first date (long read)
Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #5516] Thu, 27 October 2011 20:21 Go to next message
dave008 is currently offline  dave008
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alright gang, i'm a freshman at college- strait out of highschool, and in my first week i found the girl of my dreams. Funny, smart, whitty, and absolutly gorgeous. and from beyond my wildest fantasies, she actualy enjoyed spending time with me. we travelled the town, going to shopping centers and what not, and ended up at a park, where (with my heart unpleasantly in my throat) i asked her if she would like to go fishing on monday (yesterday) and to my great astonishment and releif she said yes! then on satureday she asked me if i would like to go to her parents camp and meet her family on sunday, they day before our planned fishing trip. and i accepted. so i whent and met her family, got the shit scarred out of me by her father, laughed as her family friends slowly got drunker and drunger, graciously took all the jeers her family members shot at me, and eventualy we left around midnight, and she drove me home

now pause for a moment, because this, i think, is perhaps the begining of my problems, and there is a bit of background info i would like you guys to understand first.

first off, i am one of the most socialy akward teens you will ever have had the missfortune to have come across. my parents, due to their jobs, forced me to move every 2 or 3 years, thus i never formed a core of friends in a home town, i never learnt how to be popular, i dont have a place that i can call a home town- when people ask me where im from i shrug and say "i was born in elliot lake, other then that, im from everywhere." so because of my many and frequent moves a became something of an outcast, worsenin over the years, and repeated moves to the point where i was a lonner by nature, i had lost the ability/knowledge of how to make friends, which i never rea/y had in the first place. my second lastmove brought me to a city called thunder bay, where i regained some of my interpersonal/social skills and in my second ear in the town i had a nice solid core of friends i relyed on and trusted, and i had a steady girlfriend. for the first time in my life i was something close to popular, and i enjoyed it. but all good things die quick, on sept. the 18th, 2009, my parents delivered to me the bomb shell that i was moving again.after much raging at my parents and at the cruelty of the world, i took up my residence in my new town, and had a complete relaps in my ways. i didnt even make the slightest effort to make friends once i got to my new town. i avoided people, i despised them because they where happy and had friends. i shot down all attempts by others to make friends with me and spent each day in in a sort of volentary solitary confinement, untill my graduation day. i didnt go to my graduation cerimony (to my parents great disapointment) i just grabed my deploma at the front desk and continued on my way. now i had college to deal with, by this time i was convinced that it was impossable for me to make friends due to conditioning over the years (which i blamed solely on my parents) but at the same time i forced my self to promis that once i got to college i would atleast attepmt to make friends. which brings us to where we are now. also, understand this, that the type of "dating" that i am used to is "hey will you go out with me?" "yeah." *now i am in a relationship*. this whole dating scene is 100% new to me, i have just about the same ammount of experiance at it as pig have experiance of flying.

Back to the present day (sunday evening, or early monday morning dependant on how you look at it) this girl is talking to me while she drives me home, we are disscussing her family. she blurts out "well my dad always wanted me to hook up with a northern boy, so you've got that to your advantage". soon she drops me off at my appartment. for some time durring the ride, i have been thinking that perhaps she might expect me to kiss her when we parted or something, so at the point of departure, i turned and looked at her, looking for evident signs that she wanted me to kiss her, and when i received none, i said goodnight and left without a second glance back like a damned fool and idiot. this, i beleive, is my first and worst mistake.

mondy dawns, as bad a day as you could possably imagin- rainy and cold. thus the fishing trip is postponed. in the afternoon it clears up a little so i decided i would walk to the lake we had planned to got fishing at, by my self, to see how long it would take me. when i arive there, i texther to tell her that it took me exactly 1hr 25min to walk to the lake. (this i beleive is my second mistake). i get a very short answer back, and it seams clear that she dosnt want to talk to me, so being perfectly atuned to solitude, i do not try to promote further conversation with her (a third mistake, i beleive). today, i go to college and we sit with eachother, but we talk very little- i try several times to make very forced conversation, but these are quickly shot down by her short responces. i get the destinct impression that she dosnt want to talk to me, and that she is even trying to avoid me. latter that day, we have a 2hr break, which we spend in near silence in the caffeteria. we are joined by annother student from our course and she and him talk together quite cheerfully. i try very hard at this point to stop my self doing one or all of three things: 1: rageing at the pair of them 2: assaulting the other guy 3: getting up and leaving and spending the rest of the day in my natural confer zone of solitude. i realy want a relationship with this girl, she is everything i've ever wanted and then some. please, im desparate, a guy like me never gets a chance with a girl like her, i dont understand these things, i dont know waht i did wrong nore do i know how to rectify what ever it is that i've done. im begging you please, if you know anything that may help, advise me!

tomorrow, i plan to confront her about it, asking her what i have done to upset her.this may not be a wise corse of action, but it is the logical one, and logic is something i understand.


Re: Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #5555 is a reply to message #5516] Mon, 07 November 2011 22:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SteveMarker is currently offline  SteveMarker
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Best of Luck Dave!
have a lovely tomorrow.


Re: Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #6415 is a reply to message #5516] Tue, 28 August 2012 03:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
daygamedatingcoach is currently offline  daygamedatingcoach
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I guess Dave your mistake is you postponed your trip then all of a sudden you went there and walked alone. Maybe she felt that you don't want to be with her. Girls are like that very sentimental. Try to confront her and ask her forgiveness, you just have to very patient in doing that if you really want to win her back.
Re: Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #6892 is a reply to message #5516] Mon, 28 January 2013 10:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Trish0102 is currently offline  Trish0102
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She must have understood something. Try to confront her and clear things out with her.
Re: Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #6930 is a reply to message #5516] Mon, 04 February 2013 08:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jessa2013 is currently offline  jessa2013
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She might got offended about you did at that time? You need to make such effort ways to get her attention back..
Re: Cold sholder after the first date (long read) [message #9347 is a reply to message #5516] Thu, 03 December 2015 14:54 Go to previous message
NickLox1 is currently offline  NickLox1
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anyway, I think people need to talk more. this is good that you asked others on this forum, but first of all you should ask your partner and yourself. by the way, can you define the best answer?
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