Relationship, Love & Dating Forum
Here you can get advises from experts and other members, meet new friends, share your thoughts and learn how to be successful in love and dating. Join our community, a free global peer-to-peer support forums targeted for interpersonal relationships focused on online dating.

Home » Love Forum » Ask a Female » First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read)
First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #5518] Thu, 27 October 2011 20:23 Go to next message
dave008 is currently offline  dave008
Messages: 10
Registered: October 2011
Karma: 0
Established member
IP: 145.236.156.152
Ok, so I'm 21 I'll say this right now, the girl is 22 I hadn't been on a date in years, just lost about 100+ pounds and getting back into things. I met her on a dating site, little did I read that she wanted to date but didn't want anything serious. I found this out on the night we went out, and it came like a dagger to the heart but I went along anyway.

So here's how it went... drove 120 miles met up with her. We proceeded to drive around and talk about just random things, later on we got out and walked around and chat it was probably just a little after dark at the time. Everything was very romantic, including all the places we seen around the downtown area such as the lights on the trees, the water fountains(not the drinking kind..) etc etc. It was a cool night, I can't recall everything we talked about. But I got to the point that I asked her what had happened in her previous relationship to make it end. And she told me something along the lines of "he was a douche bag, I got bored of him, and he chose pot over me" and I pulled a line out like always and told her I would easily chose her over pot... She also told me she has commitment issues. At that point in time about 30 red flags sprouted up. So we went on and somehow I totally said the wrong thing and I'm like "well I guess we could go back to your car and mess around" and I didn't mean that in a bad way at all, and she was like "whoa" and just stopped walking. I apologized like ten times and I told her I just meant talk, because I'm definitely not that kind of guy. So I guess we talked about different things and asked questions for a while, I even told her I didn't have any luck with girls which she found that hard to believe. People kept calling my phone and I just shut it off, even told my buddy I was in the middle of something and he'd have to call me back later. This girl was a definite ten, nothing else mattered but her. I recall at one point in time some guy walked by us and looked at her and it looked like a smart remark he made and I turned around and said to him "what the F did you say?!" not purposely it was like a reaction. She was like "wow overprotective much" and I told her I didn't know what came over me. So we walked on and eventually rode on some stage coaches in town for a small fee, it was very enjoyable. I recall telling her my hands were freezing, because they were and she offered to "warm them up". Later on in the ride I told her if she was cold she could scoot over next to me, and she told me the same so I did. I actually put my feet up in the seat across from me and felt like I was in heaven. When we got off I told her my hand was still cold, and she started holding my hand and we made our way back to her car. At some point in time on the way back we ended up hugging/cuddling I guess and looking at some stars, which i joked and told her they were satellites, eventually I told her she wins by default so she had nothing to worry about. So we go out and get something to eat, head back to her town house, I meet up with her roommates who are all heading off to a gay bar in town, so it would just be me and her. She decides she wants to watch a movie, by this time we were doing more than hugging, we were making out, she told me "you're not supposed to kiss on a first date", and I told her "rules are made to be broken" so we pretty much had no trouble making out from then on. Anyway.. we put on a movie, she fell asleep, cuddled up with me. Next thing I know her roommates get back and she asks them if I can stay the night, they all agree. And she told me even if they didn't she wouldn't have thrown me out. So she goes up to bed and I crash on the couch. Next morning I wake up when she walks in the room with a book in her hand.. and we head out to breakfast, which she pays for when I went to the wc, I think at this point in time she told me I had piercing eyes, which I took as an insult. She told me it was like I could see into her soul, and I wasn't just looking at her, and she would hide her eyes from time to time until we left the restaraunt, but anyway she paid for the tab when I wasn't paying attention, told me that I paid for everything else she needed to pay for something. We got to her car made out some more, and decided to catch a flick later in the day, so we get to the theatre and she tells me she doesn't like to cuddle during films, but we ended up holding hands anyway. I don't think there was ever a time when she came up to me and held my hand, or wanted to make out with me, but she didn't object when I did. Maybe that's just how girls are. So after the film we get in the car and she says "well I gotta go now, after the movie you leave that was the deal" she had stuff she had to do around the house she told me and also she had to read something for work. Ironically a song came on the radio in her car with some lyrics like "let him stay" lol! Which I pointed out that it was clearly a subliminal message. So on the way back she looked at me and smiled, and told me I was cute and she thought she would keep me. I asked her if I could see her next weekend, and she said if she wasn't working she would like that. We made out some more and I left. I texted her a few times telling her what a great weekend I had, and basically I was so happy I was almost in tears. So I didn't call her today but she got on Facebook and I asked her how it was going, she said she was in a blah mood.. and I told her she was to awesome to be in a blah mood. Then I asked her if I came up on Sunday(which is currently her only day off) I would show her how to ride the motorbike, and she was like "I'm probably working sunday, I told you that, if not I would love that". So I told her i missed her today and she said she missed me too. Then basically said she was going to bed and got off..

So what do you guys make of this. This girl works from like 8am until 6pm monday through saturday. sometimes sunday even. I like this girl a lot, but she doesn't want anything serious and has committment issues. Is it odd that she never like came up to me and kissed me, or anything? Should I pursue this further, and play on her terms? Do you think she cares about me? Appreciate any tips.

Thanks!


Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #5552 is a reply to message #5518] Mon, 07 November 2011 22:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SteveMarker is currently offline  SteveMarker
Messages: 52
Registered: November 2011
Location: New Jersey-US
Karma: 0
Experienced
IP: 119.155.20.80
She probably wants you! Very Happy
I think she cares about you but her one habit, i don't like i.e KISS Smile


Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #5714 is a reply to message #5518] Fri, 25 November 2011 09:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
heygirl is currently offline  heygirl
Messages: 4
Registered: October 2011
Karma: 0
Newbie

IP: 123.138.30.228
After reading your story, i think she also likes you, just from a woman's viewpoint.

For a girl, if she does not like a man at all, she will not accpet anything from him and just refuse you. But she did not refuse, right?

The reason you feel she is not so positive is because that girls are somewhat restrained but i believe as times goes on, she will become more open and positive!

Good Luck!


passiongaga girl @ www.passiongaga.com
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #6073 is a reply to message #5518] Mon, 13 February 2012 12:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
daygamedatingcoach is currently offline  daygamedatingcoach
Messages: 62
Registered: January 2012
Location: Suite 1205 - Level 12, 1 ...
Karma: 0
Expert
IP: 124.106.19.36
I think she likes you but she want to know you even better.
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #6272 is a reply to message #5518] Tue, 08 May 2012 12:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
daygamedatingcoach is currently offline  daygamedatingcoach
Messages: 62
Registered: January 2012
Location: Suite 1205 - Level 12, 1 ...
Karma: 0
Expert
IP: 124.106.19.36
hi there! i think the girl likes you (she wouldn't say she misses you anyway if not,right)but maybe (just MAYBE) she's been into a traumatic experience to her last relationship that ended her thinking not to get anything serious about the next to come.. if you are really serious about her you have to prove it to her .. all she needs is a man that will make her think that not all men are the same (i just thought it so) Razz Razz
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #6894 is a reply to message #5518] Mon, 28 January 2013 11:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Trish0102 is currently offline  Trish0102
Messages: 87
Registered: January 2013
Location: Malaysia
Karma: 0
Expert
IP: 112.198.82.207
I think she also likes you. Just continue to make her feel special.
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #6928 is a reply to message #5518] Mon, 04 February 2013 08:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jessa2013 is currently offline  jessa2013
Messages: 45
Registered: January 2013
Location: philippines
Karma: 0
Experienced
IP: 120.28.231.208
I think she had feelings for you.. She just ignoring it on the day that you were together.. If that woman doesn't have any feelings from you, then why she allows you to enter his life? Think about that!
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #9348 is a reply to message #5518] Thu, 03 December 2015 14:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NickLox1 is currently offline  NickLox1
Messages: 54
Registered: November 2015
Location: USA
Karma: 2
Experienced
IP: 71.6.196.165
may be she is just afraid of her own feelings? or perhaps she is scared of future? girls always afraid of something, like she doesn't want to start any relationship in order not to loose you and do not feel pain afterwards, hm?
Re: First Date - Where Did I Go Wrong?(long read) [message #9374 is a reply to message #5518] Mon, 07 December 2015 21:55 Go to previous message
das is currently offline  das
Messages: 6
Registered: December 2015
Location: new york
Karma: 0
Newbie
IP: 197.156.95.156
Need help in dating? Join whereweallmeet an online dating site with live dating agents to provide advice on how to find the match for you.
Previous Topic: Cold sholder after the first date (long read)
Next Topic: first date instruction
Goto Forum:
  


Current Time: Fri Oct 30 01:08:29 EET 2020

Total time taken to generate the page: 0.01218 seconds