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Home » Love, Friendship & Relationships chat » Marriage & Pre-Marital » Childfree family (But I want kids)
Childfree family [message #9451] Tue, 29 December 2015 16:30 Go to next message
Brick11Molain is currently offline  Brick11Molain
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We live together for 2 years. From time to time he gives me hints that he wants kids. But as only I start talking about this I feel this tense in his eyes and his voice and the only thing I hear is that critical comments that he actually doesn't want to have children. Never.

But what I have to do? To wait while he is growing up? Because of this I forgot about the private life. I understand that something is going wrong, but I love him and want to share my life with him and want to become a mother one day. It's so complicated.
Re: Childfree family [message #9454 is a reply to message #9451] Wed, 30 December 2015 11:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LeePalm44 is currently offline  LeePalm44
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Have you ever felt the strong desire not to have kids? Or, if your dream was to have a brood, how would it feel to abandon it now? Are you comfortable making this choice or is it fraught with anxiety and confusion? Try not to be in the moment with this. Think beyond the wedding and honeymoon. When your friends are growing their families, how will you feel? Happy for them, but happier you made this choice? Envious of those pregnant bellies? Relieved you dodged the bullet of raising a family?
Re: Childfree family [message #9455 is a reply to message #9451] Wed, 30 December 2015 11:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NickLox1 is currently offline  NickLox1
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Brick11Molain wrote on Tue, 29 December 2015 16:30
But what I have to do?


If you're seeking advice on this from everyone you know, know that the act of relentless questioning is giving you a signal. Why? Because you're conflicted. And you're looking for the magic words that will make this right for you. Your partner isn't asking the woman next to him on the subway whether he should have kids. He doesn't need to. He's resolute in his decision. And so should you be. Yes, ask questions, but ask them of yourself.
Re: Childfree family [message #9458 is a reply to message #9451] Wed, 30 December 2015 18:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Relationup is currently offline  Relationup
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It sounds like he's not really sure what he wants either. Depending on how young you both are, he might not be ready to really think about this seriously and honestly. It's important to be honest with him and let him know what you want, but also try not to pressure him into stating what he wants now. Even discussing the possibility is a good first step. Helping him understand that this isn't something you want tomorrow, but in the future will also help him not find the conversation threatening or a sort of ultimatum.

-Relationup
Re: Childfree family [message #10228 is a reply to message #9451] Wed, 29 April 2020 04:39 Go to previous message
breakupshop is currently offline  breakupshop
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Has he explicitly stated we wants kids? When you say he hints from time to time, what are those hints?
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