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Acting needy [message #9722] Tue, 28 June 2016 17:49
nancy_ha is currently offline  nancy_ha
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Registered: June 2016
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Lately it seems I've been having the same problem with all the guys I meet. I meet them, they seem interested (more than I) and I play it cool for a while. On the first days I don't even care if he texts, sometimes take a while answering because I've got other things on my mind and don't sweat it at all. Then, as I start getting to know them better/liking them I begin to feel very anxious and start analyzing everything.. how long it took him to answer, when was he last online, etc, etc. Then I start initiating contact or plans (not too much though, maybe once or twice), and feel they get distant.

I think part of my problem is that I've was ghosted by a guy with whom I had been going out for about 2 months, he said he wanted to date exclusively and then with time he started fading and eventually disappeared for no apparent reason. It's like he suddenly lost all interest and I never really got to know why. So I think I'm afraid guys will just change their mind and disappear out of the blue. So I become a little obsessive and even though I don't act too much on it I guess they can somehow notice.

So a couple of questions.. how can I avoid feeling this anxiety and keep my cool attitude? It's a confidence thing I guess? Do guys really get turned off once they know you're more available/interested than before? Once it becomes less of a challenge?

And I must say, I'm not even crazy about this guy (the one I'm in this situation with now), still just want to hang out and get to know each other better but I may be somehow acting like I'm really into him..
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