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Home » Love Forum » Ask the Dating Expert » Me and a crush, lf for 3th-party input
Me and a crush, lf for 3th-party input [message #10324] Fri, 27 November 2020 19:57
Fvg is currently offline  Fvg
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Hello everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about a situation I have experienced with a girl.

I'll keep it as brief and detailed as possible:

I have been frequenting the gym alot, regularly 4 times a week, in the past few years.
Located in the city centre, the place attracts alot of people.

This is where I developed a crush for this one girl, who also frequents the place, to work out with her female friend.
Quite good looking, I figured she shouldn't have any problem getting attention from men.
Sometimes I did notice a cold, stand-off'ish kind of attitude in her.

Things did change when at a certain time, she approached me - fully smiling -, asking a rather silly question and me simply answering her.

Having answered her something strange took place:
We stood there, both looking each other in the eyes, untill I noticed a sudden dilation in her pupils, with her swiftly turning around and leaving.
I'm not quite sure whether I scared her, attracted her, or maybe both...

After that moment, we saw each other in a bar, but me - lacking the balls to go up and talk to her - played it 'cool' and started becoming stand-off'ish myself.
Both of us did recognize each other that moment.

The same week, both of us are working out in the gym, when at a sudden moment she comes standing straight in my path, blocking my road, just looking at me.

Me, honestly still into her, again lacked balls, ignored her and went out of her way.

The last time I saw her, was in a grocery store, accidentally passing and standing in front of each other, I froze still, letting her pass, with her turning her head away, turning it halfways (no eye contact), to turn it away again.

So, Essentially, I really just want to go up and talk to her, ask her out and just get to know her.
However, I can get confused due to the turning her head away and stuff, thinking she might not be open to it anymore.

Recently, I found out something about her, which I must've forgot during the times I saw her at the gym:

7-8 years ago I knew this guy (a drug dealer).
He couldn't stop telling me about this girl - always saying we would make a great match due to similar personalities and -interests and shared life-problems.
Me, not really into meeting people this way, eventually got kind of curious about this person was.
He admitted having told her about me aswell.
So, one day he took me up to her working place, tried introducing us, but we never really met and simply got to see each other.
I didn't really bother it and forgot about her.

I did find out that my 'gym-crush' and the girl, the other guy was talking about, are the same person.
So, maybe, while I quite forgot about that moment, she might've remembered, I don't know.


So, now I'm wondering:

How do I take it from here?
I figured it might be an idea to just ask her if she knows the guy, and when she answers 'yes', to tell her straight up he did tell me about her and just admit I couldn't muster up the courage
to talk to her.
And then simply ask her out.

However, I'm wondering if that stuff is way too personal, too soon?
Does it matter to mention I lacked the courage?

Also: Am I overthinking these things?

Like the eye-contact stuff at the gym, passing each other in the grocery store.
Sometimes it feels as if I'm looking for way too much meaning in these events and maybe block myself doing this, leading to freezes and anxiety.
On the other hand, the crush I have is real and genuine.

So, any advice, input, opinion, etc. is greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading.
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